Sydney Blackmores Marathon, 19 September 2010 

 

 

 

This summarises my - short - (hey! I am not that old) life… I am always looking for next challenge, I guess as a way to channel my extra energy, focus my curiosity, and keep me away from routine and boredom as I totally immerse myself into a new world, thinking, reading, researching, talking about it (who said obsessive?), totally dedicated to my ultimate source of excitement, enjoyment and discovery, including self-discovery. This is where I best use my interests in creative thinking, planning, organisation and discipline.

 

So I love setting up new challenges in an impulsive way, in the craziness of the bold moment, all kind of challenges, changing job, moving to a new country, dealing with premature twins, bring it on and don’t tell me it is not possible. Interestingly sport as a challenge has been out of the radar since growing up in the fencing community, training from 5 yr old, going for national camps, competing at an international level, as planned by my dad, himself a fencer selected for the Olympic Games. After a long beak after having my twins, I picked Pilates but missed the ‘hard work, full sweat’ feeling. Also I gained a few kg over the years, so I joined Vision PT for their holistic approach to nutrition, exercise and motivation. However running was completely out of the equation, and had always been even during my competition years. I only managed to run 1 min on day one. I hated it, it gave me shin pain and anyway I had been told I could never run again since my knee surgery in 1988. My PT still asked me to set a crazy goal, and 4 months later in September 2009, I completed the SMH half marathon. This was in the honour of my physio who dared telling me I would never make it because of my legs imbalance and resulting painful sciatica. Sure it was not a memorable time, and I shuffled for the last kms, but I did it! Then I continued looking for my next challenges, and experienced body sculpting, ocean swimming, biathlon and a couple of triathlons with the same dedication and silly daring attitude; jumping into it with minimum training and almost drowning but still finishing the event!

 

Not always funny but still rewarding and great memories!

 

But with winter time, I was back to pure running. Katrina put a seed in my restless mind when she told me she was going for NY Marathon… a marathon? Of course, when is next one? But this time, I decided to be a bit more prepared for the specificities of the event and joined Susan’s Paceline Coaching running group.

 

 

The preparation of the event was more a hurdle race than a long and tranquil progression: first the programme was fast tracked because of the time left before the race. Then I had to solve one by one domino effect injuries while trying out 3 different pairs of running shoes… But with lots of massages, a 25kg bag of Epsom salt, lots of running reading, and some neurofeedback and light stimulation sessions, I was getting both physically and mentally ready. When an elite runner at my gym looked at me in disbelief and told me “You? A marathon?” I knew that I had other alternative but go for it and complete it… so many people were not expecting me to be able to do this so I had to show them: Yes, me! Who else?

 

So I followed the programme as tightly as I could to fit in my busy family and professional schedule all the runs, power yoga, cross training session, trips away and just life. My heart rate monitor became my best running mate, guiding me, motivating me, slowing me down, and telling me the blank truth on my progression. I mapped the marathon course and programmed it in my muscle memory, visualising it and running segments of it for my long runs. With Vision PT I was extra aware of the nutrition aspect but made the mistake of indulging too much on gels, high carbs bars (hey, I had to try them all, it is all about experimenting, right?) and peanut butter (I run so I eat). With a couple of extra kgs, increased fatigue and a couple of bad runs, I was getting edgy and could not wait anymore to face the beast and finish with it.

 

That is when I started feeling it, 9 days before the event… it can’t be, I am never sick as I am a mum, I don’t have time for this. Thermometer replaced HRM as my truthful and honest friend, and below or above 39 fever was the main topic. I swallowed a rainbow of pills, got maximum rest, and kept doing as if. Three days before, I reluctantly started what I viewed as the insane sin of carb loading, extracting myself from my bed to go to the fridge and gulp honey and banana sandwiches with Powerade despite these extra kilos already on… This forced rest gave me extra time to fine tune my music and the family logistics for the big day (my husband and son doing the 9km, my daughter giving a drama performance).

 

The day before as I still had high fever, Susan advised to do Melbourne Marathon instead in 3 week time. Finally the compromise was that I would go for 10 km and reassess... but I couldn’t sue Susan for any life threatening consequences of my silly determination or stubbornness! So, I was in, I just added Voltaren to my impressive mount of pills!

 

 

Race morning, last close encounter with my thermometer indicated 38.3 but I knew the clinical signs to be aware of to call it quit at 10km. I resisted the sudden temptation to tape completely my two feet to avoid blisters and sticked to the plan like a robot. 

I started with no anxiety as my goal was only to try and do what I can. My HR was higher than usual because of fever, but I smiled as it jumped to 236 bpm on the bridge – it always happened at the beginning of a long run, no surprise there! I constantly checked my HRM to make sure that I kept my pace slow, but I ran mostly around 155 instead of 145 because of the fever. I drank 2 cups at each and every drink station, and had a GU or a piece of energy bar every 45 mins. I was playing safe and sound. However, at 10km, I felt more much tired and in low spirit than during my long runs but I knew that going to Centennial Park was not difficult as I did it so many times. And there was this guy with a clown hat who asked me to smile… ooops I forgot!

 

Once at Centennial Park (15km), I thought ‘this is just a run in the park’ but I was surprised to come across the 3h15 pacer leaving the park… so this group had been running in the park for 1 hour and I was just starting… this was hard to accept. So I decided my only goal now on was to ‘exit the park’ at any cost. In the park I ran along a lady who had the same pace as me. We never talked but she seemed to wait for me when I would slow down for a stretch or a drink or she would catch up and stay by my side when she had to slow. Actually, I think she was competing against me and was making sure I would not pass her, silly her! I let her go and decided to run my own race rather than being impacted by her pace.

 

Half way (in 2:22, only 5 min slower than planned), I was not feeling too bad physically, despite annoyed by the long Centennial Park loops where I would come across much faster runners looking strong and confident. I was so happy to see some familiar faces though; it was exciting, I was proud to be part of these people! I ended up in the middle of a CanToo group and got extra support from crowd so I finally managed to ‘exit the park’ with this group! My reward was walking for 1 min at next station.

 

By then I started feeling lonely and bored, especially as I had not planned / mapped the ‘S’ course which came as a ‘bad’ surprise to me. I felt I was going backwards instead or progressing towards Sydney. Finally I went back to Oxford Street (30 km) and by then my knees were in fire. I was distracted by weird people, the police trying to calm them and I felt sorry for them more than for me. Also I knew there was a long way down to Circular Quay, and then a flat loop to Darling Harbour and Pyrmont. All I wanted from then was to see the km35 sign, because then I would only have 7kms to do (a simple and easy run club outing… nothing there!), which I could crawl or shuffle if necessary. And there I saw the same guy with a clown hat who asked me to smile again… not funny at all. At this stage, I still had 4:45 as a secret goal.

 

This is when everything went into an epic fail as my kids would say – my music stopped working (but I managed to fix it), my knees were very sore, I could not stand my HR monitor anymore so I pushed it down on my tummy as it hurt my ribs and anyway there was nothing to regulate anymore as I just had to finish at any speed at any cost; I ran in Hyde Park in the middle of a crowd of strollers and Sunday walkers would could not care less, which was really very demoralising. And still no 35 km sign, actually no sign at all, it was a real worry…

 

Finally, Circular Quay in view, and a sign in the distance, I was ready for a moment of glory! But, but, but the sign said: 32 km. This was the end of the world. The runners I crossed had only 200 meters to go, I had 10 km. Not fair! But, on the other hand, it was just a flat loop, so let’s go. I have always hated Hicksons road during my long runs as it is so boring and empty… but so flat and easy. Stopping at the drink stations was harder and harder as I could not re-start running, I was in too much pain; so I would use my arms vigorously to give me some rhythm. I came across a fit friend from my gym as well as the ‘100km Oxfam walk’ guy, so I was not doing too bad! The Pyrmont Bridge appeared in front of me as a bad surprise … during my long runs I ran along the water and wharfs so did not expect this obstacle. At this stage, anyway there was no way I could run up or down the ramp, so I just accepted to power-walk it. I saw a sign indicating when they would close the race at this point, but I was far ahead of this, so I did not mind… until I saw the damn pickup bus coming in the other direction!

 

With 5 km to go, I felt like I was in ghost zone. Water was making me sick and nauseous, so I skipped a drink station and then felt so guilty about it. So I had more GU gels and Powerade at the next station. I calculated that soon I would be near the Hilton hotel, so the pickup bus would never be able to stop me. I was angry as I was not tired, I did not hit the wall, I had never been out of breadth, I was just deceived by my knees… I decided to have a rest so walked with my eyes closed, like in a haze. All I wanted was to finish, and for this I had to keep going and stay calm, be in peace and my head was so heavy... and the pickup bus will never get me anyway, I am just fine…

 

I was in that white comfy cloud when an orange angel coming from nowhere tapped on my shoulder and told me “You are strong, you finish strong”. So we started running and running, there was no more pain, just a goal, we talked to each other about our decision to finish whatever, her name was Dominique, she ran with CanToo and had already cried 3 times… and then we saw the Opera house! What a scream! We were doing 6mn per km, completely out of breath, so I begged her to slow down as I was scared I would collapse before the Finish lane as Susan told me it happens. Running with somebody the last 3 km made it so much easier as I moved my interest from self-centred pain to somebody else who is struggling too (but with attitude). 'Ability, Motivation and Attitude' is the winning triptych… the last one is the hardest to get right…

 

Dominique was very positive, in great spirit, told me to smile at the photographers but I could not be bothered (what a mistake!), and we promised not to let each other down. The funny consequence is that I am and she is on most of our finish photos! We stopped for a last cup of yucky water at 41km, and decided to hold each other not to fall (which was making it a bit tricky to run!). We lengthily discussed whether we may only have about 2 min left to run (brain was not calculating very precisely anymore). I started hyperventilating while she was very busy smiling at all the photographers. At 200 meters, we had to slow down, to avoid any last minute catastrophe. At 50 meters, I saw my husband Olivier and my son Kenzo but could not stop. Finish line, commentator yelled “Look at these two coming now”. Yes watch out, this is me! We finished, Dan my trainer was still waiting and looked relieved but confident at the same time; he always supported me with 'challenge attitude chat'. Then Olivier and Kenzo joined me at the Finish. I think I hugged all the volunteers around! I finally stopped crying… I was happy with my 5:08 under the circumstances!

 

 

Dostoevsky said ‘Suffering is the sole origin of consciousness’ … indeed, I am very conscious of my suffering... The lady at the recovery zone kept looking at me in a suspicious way, so I told her again and again that I was just fine, just sore knees… but she kept following me!

 

The hardest bit was walking to the car… total agony… and then getting out of the car was worse! But then I finally got home and reached my mobile and started texting… first text had to be to Susan!!! I am now in contact with Dominique! I told her she inspired me to help somebody the way she did it for me, she replied that I did inspire her as I somehow kept going despite all!

It has been 2 weeks since. I am still in recovery mode, but feeling much less tired and I will try jogging on a treadmill this week.

 

Normal life activities look a bit dull, most people have no clue and can’t understand or blankly question the whole thing, I am bored of sleeping… I think a need a new challenge! I heard about this 50km road ultra in Canberra… and now summer is coming, it is biathlon and triathlon time! Or perhaps the glamorous Paris Marathon with a time goal?